Developmental Approach to Children and Salvation

honoring our children's trust in us

By L. Lanie Doerr, LPC, MA 

09/29/25 

6 minute read

For years, I have had concerns surrounding the common practice in many churches of expecting & encouraging children younger than teens to make a decision to follow Christ.  This article explores the cognitive & moral reasoning abilities of kids and teens with the goal of helping the reader gain insight into the inner functioning of these valuable young people.   

First, I am a believer and follower of Christ.  I want everyone to believe and be saved.  My purpose is NOT to undermine or attempt to discomfort anyone who was saved at a young age.  Your salvation & relationship with God is completely between you & God.  Neither I nor anyone else has any say in it.   

Second, I am a licensed professional counselor, so I am educated at master’s degree level and skilled in psychology.  

Third, I am coming to this topic from a point of view that science is a testable system of inquiry and the purpose of science is to help us understand and better manage our lives in this world. For example, the germ theory of disease influences how we clean, prepare food, and interact with others – such as staying home when we are sick.  This is tremendously useful and has improved human life since the mid-1800s.  Piaget’s theory of cognitive (thinking or reasoning) development and the Kohlberg’s theory of moral development are useful tools for understanding the needs and abilities of children and teens.  I will describe the development of children and teens using both of these theories and relate it to making the most important decision of one’s life – following Christ.   

Cognitive Development of Kids 

Jean Piaget (pee-uh-zhay) was a Swiss developmental psychologist. His theory states that children progress though the stages of cognitive development via biological maturation & environmental experience.  Part of what drives cognitive maturity is physical maturity.  I was taught by a piano teacher who had a lifetime of experience teaching children to play that, “the best time to start piano is after the child has gotten their adult front teeth.”  Environmental experiences drive cognitive development since children can only learn what they’ve been shown and taught.  Research indicates that even lions learn to hunt by watching their mothers hunt.  I’m going to give a short overview of the 3 stages of cognitive development that are relevant to my topic of children’s acceptance of Christ.   

Preoperational (ages 2 – 6 years old)  

In the stage that takes place roughly between ages 2 & 6 years old, children cognitively develop by: mimicking behavior, playing pretend, and drawing.  They are developing mental imagery and learning to describe events verbally.  These children engage in egocentric thinking:  which means they cannot understand that others think differently & cannot see things from another’s perspective.   

Concrete Operational (7-11 years) 

Kids aged 7 – 11 years are in the concrete operational stage.  They are learning and experiencing:   

• Decentering:  less focused on self and can recognize other people have their own likes and dislikes 

• Conservation: pouring juice from a short, wide glass into a tall, slender glass does not change its amount 

• Reversibility: molding the play dough into a new shape does not change its amount 

• Classification: they can sort objects by size or color or consider both these categories at the same time 

  
  

It is important to notice that most children still cannot think abstractly or hypothetically at this stage.   

Formal Operational (11-15 years)  

Children enter the formal operational stage about age 11 years and exit it about age 15.  These kids are able to: 

• use symbols related to abstract concepts (algebra) 

• think about other abstract concepts like justice or freedom without needing physical examples  

• consider multiple perspectives 

• use logical “If-Then” reasoning 

  
  

This level of cognitive development also supports moral development by being able to evaluate complicated ethical problems.  This wraps up cognitive development, and now we tackle moral development.   

Kohlberg’s stages of Moral Development 

Beginning in the late 1950’s Lawrence Kohlberg starting adapting Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development to describe moral development.  His full model shows what method of moral reasoning is employed by a person in each of the 6 stages.  Remember, this theory and Piaget’s are describing the way human beings think about the self and their world.  Again, I am only going to describe the stages that are relevant to my topic.   

Pre-conventional Level:  Childhood 

Children are considered to morally reason as described here until they enter adolescence (puberty).  It is split into 2 stages and characterized by the child’s focus on direct consequences and being solely concerned with the self.  

• Stage 1:  The child can only consider direct consequences and is driven by obedience & punishment. 

• Stage 2:  The child is purely self-interest driven (what's in it for me?) and has limited interest in needs of others.   

  
  

Conventional Level:  Adolescents & Adults:   

Adolescents (teens) and adults are able to reason according to society’s rules and norms.  

• Stage 3:  I must be a “good boy” or a “good girl” so society will approve. 

• Stage 4:  It is important to obey laws, rules, and social conventions because that is how we maintain a functioning society.   

  
  

Now that we have established the limits of cognitive & moral reasoning abilities at different stages, we can ask some more questions and explore how a child younger than a teen might perceive a decision for faith in God. 

How cognitive and moral development impact a child’s decision-making ability 

A child is making decisions based on the tools they have available.  A child younger than a teen probably cannot: 

• think about another person’s point of view 

• think abstractly or hypothetically 

• think about the self in context 

Additionally, a child younger than a teen probably considers moral decisions based on: 

• Does this end in punishment for me? 

• Does this make me a good boy or good girl? 

• Does this benefit me? 

Other things to consider about this age of child that may influence their decision to follow Christ: 

• Quality of relationships they have experienced 

• Level of trust for authority figures 

• Desire to please adults 

• Experience they have in making personal decisions 

• Ability to engage in real, interpersonal relationships  

Some basic abilities people need in order to be able to make a decision for Christ include: 

• Abstract reasoning and understanding the concept of justice 

• Logical reasoning 

• Boundaries: a physical & abstract concept 

• Capacity for relationship 

• Symbolic language 

• Self-awareness: awareness of the choice to sin & the pain resulting from sin  

  
  

 Justice is at the heart of the need for salvation.  People sometimes question: “if God is good why does he send anybody to hell?   Why does God need me to DO anything, because if he’s so great why doesn’t he take care of it all?  Why did Jesus have to die?   Couldn't we just all go to heaven?” 

God has boundaries.  He demands justice.  That’s why Jesus had to take our place on the cross.  God honors our boundaries.  We do not have to accept his gift.  This and many other Christian concepts involve logical and “If-Then” thinking.   

Unlike other religions, Christianity is a relationship with God.  We are adopted into his family as sons and daughters.  The capacity for relationship may be an important consideration.  Little kids can have a best friend who they know almost nothing about.  That is perfect for little kids, but it's not relationship.   

Self-awareness blossoms during puberty, bringing new challenges; however, it is necessary for us to be aware of our choice to sin and of the pain resulting from sin. Perfect grasp of all these concepts is not necessary for salvation, but a repentant heart is.  A repentant heart that longs for God’s rest and yearns for relationship with God is important.  Repentance is nothing like the desire to be a good girl or a good boy or even to follow the rules.  It is intensely personal and driven by the Holy Spirit.   

Christianity has many abstract concepts and uses much symbolic language.  Conceptualizing Jesus carrying the sins of the world on the cross or Jesus carrying my sin at the cross 2,000 years ago requires many advanced skills.  This is both completely real and uses symbolic language.    

I was 9 when I chose to follow Christ.  Like many who made a commitment very young, I had challenges in growing my faith later due to lack of full understanding of myself and of the ability to experience the conviction of my sin.  Fortunately, I did not feel particularly pressured by my parents or Sunday school teachers to do this.  Knowing what I do now about human development has propelled me to write this article.  We do not have to fear limiting God’s power to convict hearts and save souls, as we couldn’t possibly limit God in any way.  As mature Christians, we have an obligation to respect children and honor their right to make this choice by themselves when they are truly ready.