By L. Lanie Doerr, LPC, MA 

9 minute read 

“It was muskets that won the Revolution.  And don’t forget it was axes and plows that made this country.”  -- Father Wilder 

“A farmer depends on himself, and the land and the weather.  If you’re a farmer, you raise what you eat, you raise what you wear, and you keep warm with wood out of your own timber.  you work hard, but you work as you please, and no man can tell you to go or come.  you’ll be free and independent, son, on a farm.”   

-- Laura Ingalls Wilder, both quotes from Farmer Boy 

This post begins to tackle the meat of my cultural & identity model with

Risk factor #1: Farmer Identity.  

Risk Factors

First, being deeply bonded or connected to the farm is often regarded as noble in our culture.  There are other types of business owners and other multi-generational businesses, but farmers seem to be unique in that the farm is more than just a livelihood, land, and traditions.  Ironically, a strong, stoic, proud, & private man who farms has a greater risk for suicide.  When I see the word “pride” in this context, I start looking for evidence of irrational ideas about control.  Pride is often just attempted control dressed up in a tuxedo.  Control (or over-responsibility) is a brutal thief of life & love across the gamut of therapy clients.    

Purc-Stephenson, Doctor, & Keehn (2023) in their research study indicate that the widows of these men who died by suicide explained that the men believed they had failed if the farm failed, & they couldn’t imagine themselves in any other job.   

If a farmer’s identity is so completely tied to his farm, he has lost all flexibility.  The idea of being able to survive life’s crazy ride without flexibility is absurd.   

Second, the lack of any other identity can be exacerbated by isolation.  When you live and work at roughly the same place – 20 miles from town, well, we are beings that need reminded of things – even important things.  How long since you thought about yourself in any other terms?  How long since you wore something other than work clothes or slightly better work clothes masquerading as town clothes?  A human being is always more than any one category.  When the difficulty and uncertainty approach authors talk about getting together with friends and reducing isolation, this is in part because we need to have a broader identity than “farmer.”  No one can tell you how to do this exactly, because it needs to be uniquely you.  

A clear, coherent life story that describes who you are is essential for good mental health.  Identity isn’t handed to us on a plate, we create it.   

Women who are farmers, who were raised on the farm, whose husbands are farmers, we share that culture:  the healthy aspects & the risks.  Our identity & our culture is farming, & the actions or attitudes of the men, they may seem normal to us. It can take a huge step back to see ways this might be damaging to us all.

Our third aspect of this risk is when one’s self-worth equals their work or production. 

There’s an aspect of this one that is hiding in plain sight.   

If you’ve got your self-worth tied to your  

productive output  

or your sweat, blood, & tears,  

then you do not and have not ever really felt your own worth.   

This is a HUMAN problem that is intensified by farm culture.   

It's pretty clear there is danger in a self-concept that has no room for failure and no room for any other versions of you.   A person will go to great lengths to feel worthy & valuable without recognizing what he or she is really chasing.  This a good use of therapy, digging down to the root of the matter.   

Protective factors 

Whew!  We finally made it to protective factors. 

First, we’ve got to expand our self-concept beyond farming.  Your life is exclusively yours, & its your responsibility.  There’s no one waiting to meet all the needs of your inner world after you’ve finished, accomplished, or solved whatever problem is occupying you right now.  You are the only one who can meet your mental health needs.  I suggest getting to know yourself again – without judgement!!  Whether its opera, snorkeling, or cooking stir-fry, you’ve got to have balance in your world.   

Next, we need to improve self-awareness of both emotions and bodily reactions (somatic awareness).  I would venture to say that in farm culture, emotions are for wimps.  The cold truth is . . . it's exactly the opposite.   

Emotions are information.  Emotions originate in the body, and we learn to identify them by name because of what they feel like.  Few would disagree that fear is a useful emotion.  Thanks to fear & the lightning-quick response of the nervous system, we get away from the rattlesnake before our conscious brain has registered what’s happening.  The newsflash (for many of us) is that the rest of the emotions are just as useful.   

Emotions should inform our decisions.  This is one way of knowing ourselves, cultivating our own identities, & living the lives we want.   

Stuffing or avoiding our emotions erodes our reality & leaves us more susceptible to stressors.  Trauma survivors know that total acceptance of their reality is essential for getting well.   

Self-awareness is a big part of good mental health. Many people have not given this much thought – how do I perceive myself? How do I define myself? Have I abandoned parts of myself in order to fit the mold my culture demanded? Do I recognize that I have any choices or do I presume I have none? 

Recognize choices you have - even when you do not plan to choose the other. 

In a training I attended that was taught by Bessel van der Kolk & Pat Ogden (world leaders in the world of psychology & treatment of trauma), Dr. Ogden mentioned work she had done with women who were living with violent partners.  Once the women were able to recognize and admit to themselves that  

they had a choice to stay or go,  

even while they were sure they still intended to stay,  

the women began to improve.   

For them, this was a vital first step to getting well enough to get safe.   

Hopelessness is a big part of suicide risk.  Having no other options is surely part of the hopelessness for many farmers.   

This was a heavy one, so I will close with my very own you might be a redneck joke  

“If you ever drove to grade school, you might be a redneck.”  

We lived approximately 14 miles from the country school I attended for grade school. When I was about 12 years old, I woke up sick. By late morning I felt better and told my mom I felt like I could go to school. She told me, "Well, take your pickup & go."